My Last Dose of Lexapro!

I finally made it! I finally took my last dose May 22, 2012! I wanted to wait a bit to see what if anything was going to happen.

Some people report probelms after the last dose and even months later be hit with a "Phase II" type thing. I really do not fear that at all ebcause I tapered so slow, see that is the key, not to get off of it as fast as possible because all you will have is WD hell for a longer period of time. The key is slower is better and if that is too much then ubber slower! Micro tapering is actually being tested with people trying to do it a different way. With interesting results and quite possibly better than the 10 percent method especially for people who have trouble with 10 percent or even 5 percent drops in their tapering.

So the mg I jumped off of was .8mg the weight of the Lexapro powder was .010.  Coming from 40mg, that is twice the recomeded dose for the last 7 years! This was a very difficult thing to do. I will recap what I did.

My History of Taper with Lexapro.

My first attempt was a 10mg drop every 3 months. Until I got to 5mg which I broke the half of the pill in half. I crashed with horrible results. Mind numbing dizziness, double vision, headaches from hell, nausea and was scared. I ended up having a brain seizure (I do have epilepsy).

I was so scared I went right back on Lexapro to 30mg and let myself stabilize. I decided to try again 6 months later and  my family suggested 6 months between drops. They thought that maybe it would be easier on me.

So then I did 10mg drops every 6 months until I got to 10mg, this is when I came across a website about drugs and ran into someone who suggested paxilprogress,org. So I checked it out and spent hours there, reading threads about Antidepressants in general and also searching and finding Lexapro threads.

So I decided to do the 10 percent method with the last 10mg of Lexapro. I ordered a Jeweler's scale from amazon (about 25.00) and gelcaps (I used to put the right dosage weight in the gelcap instead of shaving pills).

I downloaded the Excel spreadsheet at paxilprogress.org. I weighted one pill and put the weight in the column. The sheet then does an auto 10percent reduction down the graph. You then know every 3 - 4 weeks to weight out the next weight listed. This is what I did for the last 10mg of Lexapro.

Withdrawal symptoms I found to be less painful then the big 10mg drops and I was able to function everyday. When I did the big drops, the physical pain was ongoing and made me miserable. I had a hard time walking, I could not walk or stand on any uneven surfaces and stairs were very challenging. Before my tapering attempts I never had any pain in my legs or muscles. It was truly horrible. I also had waves of depression with anxiety with the big drops.

The 10 percent drops I had symptoms, but nothing near the previous symptoms.

By the time I had gotten down to 3mgs most of my withdrawal symptoms are very minor. I would have one day of very bearable muscle pain which sometimes included a irritating headache.

So I decided to jump off at .8mg and I felt like it was a normal drop, some muscle pain and a slight headache and that was it as far as to this moment.

About a month and a half ago, while I was still tapering, my Doctor told me I had high blood pressure and prescribed a water pill-potassium pill. I had no side effects until after I took my last Lexapro. Then I felt horrible (some how I knew it was BP pill related because it in no way felt anything like withdrawal or similar to any thing I have felt in the last 3 years)

I called my doctor and he said to stop the BP pill. So I did and it has been about 3 days and I am feeling almost back to normal ... Gee what is normal? I have to monitor my BP for a few weeks and then we are going to revisit this topic, I go in if it jumps up however. So far it has been close to normal.  If the Lexapro or the withdrawal caused theHigh BP I would be happy, because then I won't have to take medication. The doctor seems surprised. We will see.

Okay so I am very happy to finally being off this drug! To me it feels like Christmas Eve! The day after my last pill I had gotten a beautiful floral arrangement form my significant other!  It has been 16 days since I took my last dose of Lexapro and I am just beaming. When I took my last dose I did have my normal withdrawal symptoms for day 3 which then vanished by Day for, since day 4 I have had zero feelings of anxiety and depression. I am not afraid of withdrawal anymore.

Today or actually yesterday now was a very liberating day for me. I got rid of all my Lexapro in my house. I have to have them safely disposed which will be sometimes today. So not a bit if it is in my house I do feel truly free and I do not know how to describe this with mere words. I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders.

Now I have plans to address the damage Lexapro has left. The weight gain is the main one. I also am still taking online classes to get my brain back into shape. This coarse I am taking now is actually making sense to me know, I have taken 3 other classes that is supposed to lead me up to this one and I had a hard time keeping up having to read things over and over to comprehend them. This coarse now is harder yet I have not had to re-read materiel and am grasping it much better.

I am still exercising 6 days a week. With every other day added strength training (weights) I hope to finally see results. Although since my last dose I have lost 6 pounds.

I have purchased a new scale, food scale and a calorie book. and am looking at a few differing methods of slimming down. So far I am leaning towards calorie counting with nutrition quality of food being at the forefront. I took a close look at how I am eating now and I was happy to see that it was not really far off of what other professorial say it should be. Well more about that at a later date. I might just add a Weightloss Blog To blogger and have it linked here through my account.

I also have a Klonopin taper to do. That also might have it's own little blog so Benzo addicted people can run across it. So I will post here about Post-Lexapro things which will include some topics of Klonopin, blood pressure and weightless since it is kind of related.

Lexapro 1mg and feeling good!

Well I am now down to 1mg, in fact I have been on 1mg for about 2 weeks. I have to say that the withdrawal is getting much better. I had maybe one day of feeling sore and maybe 1 hour of feeling "bad".


I think my next move is dropping to .70mg and then off of Lexapro entirely.

I still have so much more work to do. I have the weight issue, the health issue and the CBT to practice to face my past and future stresses and problems. Not to forget I have another taper to do from the benzo Klonopin.

At this point I still do my exercise plan 6 days a week unless really ill. I find this helps me so much I don't think I will ever not exercise.

I still take the fish oil and mag.

I have had my struggles and tragedies along this process and I think I still need to deal with some of them. Like my good friend who died last June.  I still don't really feel the pain or loss fully. It is kinda blunt. there is a lot to get in order emotion wise. But I feel I am on the right track.

I can tell you one thing for sure, I am no longer scared of withdrawal (mainly because I am at such a low dose) and I am very very happy to be at this point.

1.5mg Lexapro

Well I am at 1.5mgs of Lexapro. Right now the withdrawal symptoms I have are : swollen ankle (by the way doctors try and avoid admitting Lexapro can cause or when you withdraw from it swollen ankles.) headaches, muscle aches, still not feeling all my emotions as I should.

I have no clue as in what to expect after I am finished other than I have yet another taper to do with Klonopin. I really hope it is easier then the antidepressant withdrawal.

I have no doubt that my central nervous system is a the last majorly disrupted to damaged. I pray that It will heal.

It has been 3 years if you include the two other attempts to get off this drug. It is unbelievable that so much time has been lost. The only upswing is that this last time (1  year 1 month) has been livable due to the slower taper of 10 percent every 3 - 4 weeks.

This last year and one month has been dedicated to get off of 10mgs! I suffered with doing large drops of 10mg ever 3 months until I found out about the 10 percent method. I  have no doubt that I would have failed again if not for slowing down.

I really greatly regret taking an antidepressant.  It has been the biggest mistake of my life.

BTW You would think that 1.5 mgs is small and such a nothing that just stopping at this point would be no biggie. But that is not true. My goal here is to not permanently damage my brain and I have been on this drug far to long to just jump off. It has to be well under 1mg.

And since doctors are still to this day deny withdrawal does not exist in Lexapro (even though the makers of it admit it) I would never trust their word about the safety of quitting at 1.5mg.


TooDazed

Taper to 1.9mgs

Today is the third day of my taper. And I do feel some symptoms, so far a headache and some muscle stiffness, but again I work out all week and lift weights 3x a week now. Monday I usually have some sort of muscle soreness from having the weekend off of lifting.

Tomorrow is some spinning (bike) and that always helps.

I do think I am pretty used to the routine of tapering. Still though it will be nice to actually not have to go through this anymore. I do have to taper from Klonopin and I hope it is not as bad as tapering off of antidepressants.

Too Dazed

Some Answers and an Update

Do you feel better than you did on the higher dose of lexapro now that you have dropped so far?

Yes I do. I feel so much better that I cannot believe I will feel even better after I am done with lexapro at this moment I am at 2.3mg.

Can you pinpoint how you feel emotionally and physically once the withdrawals have balanced out?

If you are talking about a drop or taper? I feel more in control, I feel more at peace and less anxiety with difficult life situations. I have almost normal emotions, I will get upset or angry and even sad but it feels more like me and real and better.

Like are you feeling calm and able to process your emotions now or are you irritable if you get that way during withdrawal.

I have ups and down but feel very comfortable processing my emotions. I am way less panicky and way less irritable. I can feel a negative emotion and think about it like a 3rd party to evaluate it and see if it is a normal emotion at a normal level. I am not upset when I feel I have over reacted. I actually forgive myself and try better next time. I also lately have been more honest to my friends and family on how I feel if something they say or do upsets me. For so many years I have just held stuff in for the sake of the other person, I have now switched into being honest with them and have had mostly good results.

Like when you say others can't step on you and anymore? Do you feel upbeat or rather gloomy (as I get -which may be the SAD)?

At higher Lexapro levels I would get angry and then gloomy then depressed. At this level that is changing. I am respectful of the person and let them know that I will not accept the treatment anymore and I do not give in. I am presently in a situation of where I am being pressured into something I no longer wish to do (has to do with my work) I should have never had these extra duties and it was being thrown on me while they claimed credit.

They are trying and I am not giving in. I do feel anger when they try and talk me into or try and represent it as something different, but I have been able to process the event and my anger and have handled it well. before I would have worried all night or all week and felt depressed as if I was a horrible person for letting them down. I do not feel this way anymore.

I cannot say I am upbeat about it because I do not leave it in my thoughts too long, I handle it and then move on to something else that is beneficial to me rather than dwell. I guess I used to dwell a lot. I will not say that is all gone, I know I will have to work on that.

Are you sleeping good, waking without trouble?

Last week was fantastic, this week is not so good.  tossing and turning with some bad dreams that I don't remember. This week waking up to bad feelings as if something is wrong. It's that "Morning Dread" in withdrawal  the cortisol levels are at the highest (well for everyone) in the morning and slowly go down, but in withdrawal the dopamine levels are low.

High cortisol causes anxiety in withdrawal and dopamine in withdrawal causes depression feelings. So Anxiety + Depression Feelings = DREAD!

At this point the morning dread is so much better. It is not terrifying as it once was. I am able to think clearly and know what it is. I am able to shrug off the feeling.



Do you have anxiety or nervousness at all-all these are usually symptoms when we get to this point so I was just wondering.


I wondered this myself and I think because I tapered so slowly I am not having this issue at all. I was really fearing that it would happen and it just didn't happen. I don't think it will even when I take my last dose.  I think that I will have my normal withdrawal feelings which at this point are not like back at 10mg.

I personally think the people who have this problem have a complex antidepressant history or they tapered to quickly. In almost every post complain of this I read their history and notice large drops and fast tapers.  Although I know there are a few really sensitive to drops. I took it very slow and steady that my brain got used to the drops and I think that is why I don't have the fear.

I have to say that I have not felt any bad withdrawal since 3.0mg. I have had a headache for a day or some sore muscles another but thing to what I went through with larger drops or the beginning of my taper.

I did have issues before the pill (anxiety and panic attacks) and I know that I still might have. I guess I feel stronger to confront them and am ready to tackle it head on.  I already had a few panic attacks happen and I just let them happen.  it was very uncomfortable and somewhat painful, so I know I will have to work on that.

I hope this helps!

Started 2.7mg

I have started a new taper 2.7mg. The last taper barely bothered me with really bad symptoms. So far not much. A friend from PaxilProgress reported in her tapering history that she had no major withdraw after the 3.0mg mark. I find this so far to be true! It would be great if this is the case. I will let you know. believe me I am paying close attention to this one.

TooDazed

On to 3.0mg

I did the drop to the weight that matches to 3.0mg.

I do have muscle pain, headache and feeling of yucky - ness. However I did do strength training yesterday and upped my reps. So I am not sure.

For me strength training does not help any withdrawal pain, the only exercise that helps is aerobics.  I need the strength training and know it will pay off at some point.

Sometimes I think of what a slug Lexapro turned me into. It made me blind to so many things. 

I am now feeling as of the "medicated me" is a stranger.

Too Dazed