I have been having insomnia issues the last week. You would think I would be on here babbling about it all week. But have a low energy right now and I am putting all that I have in the exercise and daily life right now.
All I can do with the non sleep is try and just go with it.
I want to say Happy Thanksgiving, I am very grateful that I have come this far. And know that I can finish and put 15 years of anti-depressants behind me and out of my life.
Anyhow two more doses to another drop to 3.5mg
I am pretty much sick of the drops and this topic. It is a slow process and it has it's many ups and downs but again I am grateful for this 10 percent process to make this as painless as possible. My hope is that people come across the 10 percent method ASAP, it would be wonderful that people know about it and do it without the harsh fast doctor's recommended taper. But unfortunately new people trust their doctors and have to learn the hard and painful way.
Maybe one day the Doctors will get on board and save people from suffering horrible withdrawals.
But the ultimate would be people knowing that antidepressants are no good and will bring about havoc on your health! Cognitive Therapy instead of drugs!
Too Dazed
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Purpose
- TooDazed
- This is a day by day log of getting off of the drug called Klonopin and enduring the withdrawal effects. All that I will or have learned .. Physically, Mentally and Spiritually will be in these posts. I have successfully finished my Lexapro Taper.
12 comments:
Hi there. Thanks for the information you posted about the effects of anti depressants. Here is a question for you. As you went through withdrawals at any time did you ever feel like your home or past choices while on the anti-depressant did not reflect the real you? Here is an example of what I mean. I have never been fond of little dogs. They are cute but I would never have gotten one years ago. I am a large dog person. So a few years ago while battling paxil withdrawal and going back on for a spell I got a cute 'little' dog. When I got off the pill and onto the lexapro my feelings about my dog changed-I didn't like her and constantly complained about her. Now that I have reduced so low I feel better about her but call her 'one of my many paxil choices'. Coming off the paxil I even went through weird feeling of my home not feeling like my home.
a huge thing was us adopting our daughter while I was on the paxil. While going through withdrawals I became anxious about raising her, and paranoid that I would not be a good mother because I did not adopt in my own mind but was paxil induced. I am better about it now and obviously lover but stil at times feel disconnected from 'me'. With the lexapro after it had taken full effect I quit going to church after being in church and fellowship for 25 years. I began to have feelings of not liking people and was really cold feelings even towards my own family. My oldest son was put on citrolapram and now he is a different person too. I have seen so many people's personality change while on these meds. My sister was constantly telling me I was different on each of them. Too bad doctors who prescribe this poison don't really understand the negative consequences of taking the medicine, and that patients don't ask more questions before taking 'any' medicine. I feel that I trusted my doctor as if he/she was God himself. NOT. Doctors are just people like us that chose medicine as a career choice, prone to error and script writing rather than compassion, true concern, and research for a long term goal rather than a quick fix with a pill. So not only do we go through the physical and emotional withdrawals-but some of us have to reconnect with the person we were before taking the medicine. This is our life,mind, and body but doctors that prescribe this medicine put patients in a position where they are dependent on a pill.
Thanks for you bravery of sharing this journey. I hope you do not mind my posting. Maybe my posts will helps omeone too.
Oh yes you post will help someone this I believe. And yes I had and have that now. I am not sure of any of my decisions and do not want to make any. I feel anger right now and there is no reason ... this drug is God Awful and I wonder if I read what I read now if I would have been persuaded not to take this pill!
HI I just wanted to check in see if you are okay. Are you still on the same dose? What number of days has it been for you on this dose? How is your anger issue? My previous drop to the 3.20 was fine at first and then halfway through-look out!!! My emotions had to be stuffed in a bag for a couple days. I DID get through it though and felt well enough to drop again. Three days into and so far I am fine still. Though I do take some nutrients that support my neurons and feel as though that is a huge help this time. Keep posting. I'll keep checking.
Hi. I did respond last night but it must take a while to post. Anyway I want to encourage you 1-remember your emotions of withdrawals are not 'you', It is the effect of the chemicals being imbalanced from the drop. 2-It might be wise to consider your last stable drop as a holding place while you consider your present overall health in regard to hormone balances. 3-You may want to consider a visit to a natural path that is willing to work with you through the remainder of your drops. This visit would primarily be for blood work to check balances of progestrone, estrogen, thyroid, D, and maybe even B12 . You mentioned your age, and peri-menopause begins in the mid thirties causing a wave of hormonal imbalances that are seriously aggravated by the withdrawals. All of which play a role in your moods and are greatly effected during these withdrawals. There are healthy ways to balance these hormones naturally before beginning the drop process again. Sometimes I have to stay in a drop for a month or more to get stable and balance my own hormones. All of which went hay wire. I know you are taking the fish oil and magnesium. I take fish oi also,but I take my magnesium with a combination of calcium and zinc. I mentioned before the I take special food suppliments to repair the damage done to my brain. These have all been a great help with anxiety, moods ans sleep. I am happy to share more about them if you like. Hang in there. you WILL get through this hump. Thinking of you...Matina
Thanks for the information Matina. I remember reading at paxilprogress.org that a person had all kinds of trouble on ther dose but not severe enough to reinstate to a previous dose, but instead they went ahead to the next taper and found relief.
I tried this and found my sleeping problem is better, but I know have the muscle pain and headache normal with the day 3 withdrawal.
I hope I stabilize by Christmas, my Birthday is in two weeks, it would be great if I felt better by then!
Also Tuesday my ferret died, she was going to be 8 this month. So everything is a bit harder than normal :(
I am glad to read that you seem to have found some relief. Though I do not know you peronally I do know how much work it has taken me to get to this point of reduction; and so I say 'well done girl!'. I hope we both get stabalized and can feel some real joyful emotions for the season. I don't feel really bad-just that 'tired of getting up and trying so hard to get through this mess' now and then. BUT I do know ss I said 'it is only the withdrawals' making me feel or think this way. Last night I decided to just get my Christmas cards out and put some Christmas music on. Though my focus was a bit 'out there', I was able to begin the process of greetings in my cards and 'monkey around' with the music and my daughter. It gave her a good laugh to see my humor pop in for a while,and that picked me up. So 'faking it' 'waked it : )', and helped me to 'make it' for a while. Those are stepping stones into healing. WE WILL HAVE VICTORY IN THIS!! So when is your birthday? We should both encourage ourselves to find some 'happy moments' through each day. Do the necessities but go do something for ourselves as much as possible. I am trying to get out for a 45-60 minute walk when the sun shines. Also, even though I am not sparking with seasonal anticipation I have gone out to do a little shopping here and there. Thinking of others, getting out into places where there are smiling faces, bright lights and Christmas color and music lifts me a bit. BUT do those things or others in moderation so not to stress or tire yourself more than normal. So we need to ask each of ourselves each day - 'what is a feel good activity or action I can take for today?' Even if it is only a short while it will help our thought process not to be weighed down with negativity. Here's to your 'HAPPY!'Birthday, and our 'MERRY!' Christmas.
Blessings,
Matina
Thank you so much Matina! I am sorry I missed this post. I agree with everything you said and am trying. thank you so much for ideas I can try, I did the decorating (minimal) and Christmas Carols from my childhood played while we were decorating.
I understand now what you mean by the "faking it". it really leads to a window of good feelings and it is better for my family.
Monday is my birthday.
If we are feeling this, just think about those who fast taper or cold turkey!!! It has to be 100x worse for them.
hi there-hang in there! We have to! As you read below understand that I am not dumping my life on you for support, just to help each of us to be encouraged to get on board with reality and not be so hard on ourselves while we get better from the effects of this nightmare of withdrawals that we experience. And that life is often 'filled' with disappointments and reasons to 'feel' negative. Some is reality and some is the effects of the medicine or both. So now I myself am in another predicament. I was getting over medicated for my thyroid!! Now I have to take only 1/2 a dose which my natural path says is 'clearly not going to be be enough', but unfortunately she is away until Monday. So I can not see her to go over 'all' of the blood test results. Too much or too little throws my moods 'out the window in every direction': ). Today marks day 14 days on the 2.80 and I think I am feeling a bit better with each passing day. Wednesday though I felt like I could just rip some ones head off : )! Probably a combination of everything-imbalanced thyroid, lexapro adjusting still, and MY LIFE-that in itself can be very overwhelming. Did I mention that my daughter is in adolesense (almost 13), my 21 year old has tourretes (not the swearing but has effected his social skills, sleeping regulations, motivation, and other areas of his life), and my 30 year old son that is on the citrolapram is also battling drug addictions, has marriage issues with a wife that battles with insecurity issues and has succumbed to using drugs with him in the past, and to add to their struggles were unfaithful to each other now he is expecting a first baby from someone other that his wife. Yes I think I get over whelmed and might have reason to : ) My husband who has seen my ups and downs for years because of this withdrawal said Thursday night when I went to bed so frustrated that I was being too hard on my self. "Some of or most of what you are feeling is 'normal'. I feel overwhelmed at times with all that is going on too, and I am not going through withdrawal.", he said. Again the medication numbed our real feelings so much that figuring out real emotions of frustrations and anger leaves us feeling guilty like something is wrong with us-or others think that because we did not react to those things before. We are just becoming more normal than before.
Happy note-My house is Christmas feeling and I have set up some fluresant lamps and mirrors around my desk in my personal den for 'light' to fight the s.a.d. that I deal with. It is helping. If we don't post each other before Monday-Have a Happy Happy Birthday!!! May God Bless 'US'.
Matina
Thinking of you today. Hope you are enjoying the day. Happy Birthday!
Thank you Matina! It was a nice birthday. Decorated the house, finished the shopping and about to start baking this week. 3 days to next drop!
So you are dropping again? How are you feeling at the present before the drop?
Yes I dropped 10 percent December 17. When I dropped I was feeling ok. I am at 3.0mg and just started with body aches and muscle pain and that headache.
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