5.3 or 0.068mg

September 3rd I went with another Taper. Now I am at 5.3mg! I will be excited to be below 5.0 because I have never made it to under 5mg. But the previous attempts I only did the doctor recommended tapering which now I know is to big for me to endure, leaving me with horrible withdrawal and seizures.

So this is Day two and I know some unpleasantness is going to be upon me soon.

If I can describe how I feel as far as at full dose of antidepressants to Today I would say "Clearer" In fact that is a weak word in how I mean it.

I cannot believe how much the Lexapro was "masking". I have more Energy (when not in withdrawal Day 3 - Day 8) I think clearer and my mind is not so foggy. My memory is better. When I feel good I feel it, I feel happy the way I remember "happy" is supposed to be felt. My emotions are deeper and not so flat. I have more self confidence and feel mentally stronger. I have fun now, which for years I have forgotten what that was or should I say felt like.

With my new found energy I am happier with exercising and have added strength training. Even though I have withdraws and some effects of the drug, I refuse to give up, I refuse to not try and I will keep going and going. I will never not stop working to get where I need to me. I know this now, I will never go back to that kind of existence.

I know I will not stay at 5.2, I know I will continue on down and be free of this terrible drug.

One very important thing I have learned is the gift of patience. Patience with this is required for success and patience at first was hard for me, but now I know patience is a gift, a blessing it is giving my brain the time to heal. At first I wanted to rush off this pill, but it hurt me .. big time ... set me back a year.

All I can do is suggest that anyone looking for stable recovery is to do this slowly so your brain can handle the changes and with patience it will be well worth it.

Even those of you out there that want to get off antidepressants due to wanting to have a baby should really think about the 10 percent method and talk therapy. If you think that the faster you go the faster you will get pregnant you are wrong! To go through protracted withdraw (prolonged withdrawal due to getting of the drug to fast) while pregnant is much too dangerous! I know you want to get on with your life, but do it in the best way for you and your baby.

I am sure that this over prescribing and lack of real therapy such as "talk" therapy will be exposed for what it is and hopefully this mass drugging of innocent people will be a thing of the past.

Too Dazed